Blame the Buffoon
by Boomski
Summary: Drakken's latest doomsday machine backfires, with a little help from Ron, and leaves Shego and himself in a strange predicament.  Chapter three up.
1. Chapter 1

Blame the Buffoon

Doctor Cyrus Bortel was hunched over his workbench with one eye looking deep into a microscope. Hundreds of pieces of scrap paper were strewn about, all covered in mathematical and scientific notes. On the left side of him lay two identically sized rat cages, each with it's own rat tenant. On his right were many vials of a strange blue mist like substance, which waved up and down like the ocean's waters even though there was nothing around that could cause it to move. Cyrus adjusted the zoom function of his microscope several times before letting out a victorious scream.

"It works! My nanobots work!" he said to himself as he pulled away from the microscope. "The genetic re-sequencing was a complete success!"

The not so evil doctor jumped from his lab stool and danced around the room. He patted the tops of both rat cages and gave them both a thumb up. With a swift motion he grabbed a vial of the blue mist in his hand and held it up to the sky. A wide grin was on his face.

"With these nanobots the human race can finally decide the true gender of their unborn child! You want a bouncing baby boy? Sure! Just use Cyrus Bortel's ingenious invention and change your fetus' DNA to become male. Ooooooh! I wonder which government medical division will pay the most for my Genetic Re-Sequencer Bots?" The doctor rushed over to his computer and opened up his favorite web page, 

"All I have to do now is wait for the best bid and I'll be sipping on a coconut in a tropical paradise! All the other scientist will be so jealous of my new summer home." He let out a series of chuckles. "And while I wait. It's time for a 'Pals' DVD marathon!"

He quickly exited the lab, locking the door behind him.

Not two minutes after Cyrus had left his lab; there was a green flash from the roof. Green plasma spurted out of a small hole and made it's way in a full circle, about four feet in diameter. A slab of concrete fell to the floor with a hollow thud. It seems Cyrus had invented a new type of lightweight concrete, which would soon be a big mistake on his part.

Two shadowy figures fell through the newly created hole and checked the room for any possible threats. The two intruders seemed to know the surroundings quite well, as if they had been there before.

"Dr. D why are we stealing from this Bortel guy again? Can't you just for once make something yourself?" Shego asked.

Dr Drakken rubbed the bridge of his nose as he explained to his sidekick once again, "I've said it a hundred times over Shego. It's called outsourcing. And besides, this Bortel fellow has a knack for creating things that have exceedingly evil potential."

The blue man scoured the room, flipping over books and papers. He examined the shelves, carefully making sure there were no Moodulators hiding somewhere on them. He didn't want that horrible experience to happen again. Shego on the other hand, sat back onto of the concrete slab she had removed from the roof. She filed her nails and she did regularly.

"It has to be here somewhere." Drakken pondered. He spotted the two cages and decided to check them out. "Hello there little fella. You wouldn't happen to know where I could find a vial of Genetic Re-Sequencer Nanobots could you?" He wiggled his finger in front of one of the rat's faces; it sniffed his finger and proceeded to bite down hard. He pulled his finger back with a screech, immediately putting it in his mouth.

"Shego. Did you see what that little fur ball did?" he said in a hurt tone. 

Shego shook her head and let out a loud sigh. "That's what you get for wagging you tiny little finger in its face. Probably thought it was a carrot stick or something." She went back to filing her nails.

Drakken pouted as he gave the rat the evil eye. And that's when he spotted it. He swiped one of the vials into his hand, slipping it away into to his coat pocket.

"Aha! The GRS! Come Shego lets get out of here before you know who decides to show up." Drakken made his way back to Shego.

With the flick of a switch from within his coat a rope ladder lowered itself down the hole. He and Shego made their exit. 

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It had only been four hours since their latest heist and Drakken had already managed to set up his newest doomsday machine. A giant glass sphere was filled to the halfway point with a deep red mist. Apparently Drakken had modified the GRS. The sphere was surrounded by four pillars that bent at an angle at the top, which connected the four in a house like structure. At the top of the point of the four pillars was a small rocket, not even five feet tall, which held a smaller and empty version of the glass sphere. A control panel was positioned just in front of the device.

Drakken grinned as he looked over his newly created machine. "Shego! It's finished!" he yelled into the air.

The doctors green assistant waltzed into the main chamber several minutes after being called. Her hair was a mess and she had bags under her green eyes. She stretched as she let out an audible yawn. Drakken tapped his foot impatiently. 

"I was waiting…" he scolded her.

"Well sorry Dr. D… normal people usually sleep at this hour." Shego yawned once again.

The blue man walked to his sleepy sidekick and chuckled to himself. "Yes normal people do Shego. And that's why now is the perfect opportunity to unleash my newest creation!" 

"Newest modified version of someone else's creation." Shego corrected him with a sly grin.

"Yes yes… outsourcing and all that." Drakken turned away from Shego, flicking his hand at an invisible bug. "Back on topic Shego. At this time of night Miss Possible will surely be asleep. Our little goody goody wouldn't want to go out past her curfew. And while she is sleeping we will launch my modified GRS into the atmosphere and have it spread across the globe! Infecting everyone!"

Maniacal laughter ensued. Shego just stood there in her groggy state with one eyebrow raised. She felt she was being left out loop. Dr D had some explaining to do.

She tapped the man on his shoulder and interrupted his laughter. "What exactly will this thing do Doc?" 

Drakken turned towards Shego and let out a sigh, "You really should have stayed awake Shego. I explained it all while I built the device."

Shego looked around confused, no one else was there. "You explained it to yourself?"

"So I like to talk to myself while I work, who cares." Drakken pouted. 

He rubbed his forehead and proceeded to put both arms behind his back. "I've reprogrammed the Nanobots Dr Bortel designed. Originally they would be used to select certain DNA strands inside a human fetus, in order to fully ensure that the child would be the specific gender the family selected. But now they will do the exact opposite! They will".

"Make sure the baby is the opposite gender that the family selected?" Shego interrupted.

Drakken's head fell below his shoulders. "No Shego. The child will not even be born! For the Nanobots will be dispersed not only into females but males as well. The Nanobots have been designed to modify their DNA to make the production of babies impossible! The human race will die out if the world doesn't succumb to my demands!"

Shego stood in place with her mouth wide open. This had to be the most ridiculous plan ever! "You're going to kill off the human race! How dumb are you!" Her hands became engulfed in green plasma.

The now shaking doctor stepped away and shielded his face. "It will never come to that Shego. The world will have to give in, lest they want the human race to die out. I just need the machine to actually work. You wouldn't want them to call my bluff if it were just a sham?" 

"So you won't be launching that thing then?"

"Not unless it comes to it. But even then I could easily reverse the Nanobots damage."

"That's good to hear. Because if you do launch that I would appreciate you hadning over the antidote." Came an all too familiar voice from the shadows.

"Kim Possible!" Drakken screamed.

"And her trusted sidekick!" Ron called out as he stepped into view.

Drakken's eyes narrowed. "Yes yes, and the buffoon. Let's just skip this and get right to the fighting."

With that Shego leapt from her place and charged headlong towards Kim. Her hands blazed with plasmatic fury as she swung for Kim's head. Kim easily dodged the blow with a cheerleader style back flip, nearly planting her foot into Shego's chin in the process. The red head made her way towards the nearest wall with Shego right on her tail. A vertical run up the concrete surface followed by another flip and Kim was now behind her green foe. They exchanged blow after blow, with none of them finding their mark.

Meanwhile Drakken and Ron stood watching in awe as the two women did battle. With a quick glance between each other they began their own epic fight. Hands flew back and forth as the sounds of slaps ringed throughout the lair. Ron struggled to hold his ground as Drakken's open handed blows hit him on his forearms. The blond boy's hand flew past Drakken's defenses and made its way to the blue mans nose. A flick of the finger and the taller man pulled his hands to his face, covering his now sore nose. Ron had his chance. He pushed forward and launched the doctor into his new creation. With a grin on his freckled face he went to restrain his defeated foe. As he walked past one of the pillars surrounding the device, a loud ripping sound was heard by all. His pants were now a casualty of this battle.

"Well… when life gives you lemons." Ron quoted the old time saying as he picked up his torn pants. With lighting fast speed and an impressive display of dexterity he managed to tie up the doctor with the remains of his pants.

Drakken struggled as much as he could but he could not free himself from his clothing prison. "I hope you washed these before coming here buffoon!" He yelled as he sniffed the air. He coughed slightly.

"Had gym class today, and those were the only change of clothes I had! Enjoy them for now." Ron laughed as he headed for the machines control panel.

His trusted naked mole rat popped out from the remnants of his pants pocket. Clearly confused as to his current whereabouts he sniffed the air, trying to locate his missing master. Ron gave a high pitched whistle and Rufus immediately homed in on the sound, perching himself on the blondes shoulder. The boy and his pet studied the control panel meticulously. Ron scratched his head and looked to his faithful pet.

"I have no idea how to disarm this thing buddy… want to go with the regular approach?" he asked.

"Butt'n mash!" squeaked Rufus.

Ron cracked his fingers and went to work. He pressed every random sequence of buttons he could, until a loud beep rang from the keypad and he looked to the glass container. The red mist of nanobots swirled around violently and began to shift in color. The red quickly faded to purple, then back to its original blue. Ron dusted off his hands.

"Looks like we've disarmed it little buddy."

Rufus looked at him with his head tilted to one side. "But 'ow?"

Ron closed his eyes and raised one finger to the roof, "Simple art skills Rufus. Blue is the opposite of Red. And if this stuff was bad when it was Red… then it must be the opposite now that it is Blue. So it's good now." The mole rat rolled his eyes.

The pant-less boy sighed as he reached up to the rocket at the top of the pillars. "Fine… If it will make you feel better we'll just make sure this mini rocket can't launch. No more threat and we can head home for some Nacos."

With little effort Ron managed to bend the fins at the bottom of the rocket. Drakken must have been cheap in making the thing. His job now complete, Ron made his way back to his best friend.

While Ron had been off disarming Drakken's machine, Kim and Shego had managed to wreck their whole side of the lab. Kim had dodged every shot of plasma Shego threw at her and now the walls were covered with black burn marks. They had tumbled around in a wrestler like grapple and knocked tools off lab benches and broken several stools. Shego was now raining down on Kim with a flurry of plasma shots as she fell from the air, preparing to drop kick the teen hero. Kim twisted and turned, avoiding each shot. She raised her arms up and grabbed Shego's foot mid air. Using Shego's own momentum to spin herself around, she launched Shego in the direction of the machine.

Drakken finally broke free of Ron's pant knot and got to his feet. He laughed as he ran to the control panel and pressed a large red button.

"AHA! You're too late Kim Possible! I've just activated my machine and soon the human population will cease to reproduce! Say good bye the human race!" He cackled.

His head leaned back in triumph. "Heads up!" Kim called out. 

Drakken looked back in the direction of Kim and he saw it. A green and black blur flying right for him. He had no time to dodge; he could only stand there and watch as he was hit. The evil genius and his green sidekick both slipped out of consciousness. His machine behind them began to whir with activity. The blue nanobot concoction condensed into the rockets smaller container and it launched into the sky, but only a few feet or so. It made a hundred and eighty degree turn and plummeted down to the ground, near the two villains. With an explosion of blue smoke the two were engulfed completely.

"Crisis averted. Let's ace this place" Kim put an arm around Ron's shoulder as the teen hero's made their way out of the lair. 


	2. Chapter 2

Blame the Buffoon

The lair of the evil megalomaniac, Dr Drakken, had been quiet for almost a day. After the surprise visit from Kim Possible, his henchmen had fled from the building. Drakken and Shego were the only ones left inside the lair, both still unconscious from a combination of Kim's final attack and the blue Nanobot mist that had covered every inch of their body. The mist had almost fully dissipated as a figure began to stir within it. The awakening occupant of the blue haze pushed up from the ground, on both knees, their head lowered towards the ground. Long flowing hair draped along the sides of their arms. They shook their head to try and dull the pain that they were experiencing.

"My head… no… my whole body feels so numb. Kimmie sure pulled a number on me. She's getting good." Shego said aloud. But something about her voice seemed… different. Must have been the mist she had inhaled.

Shego pushed herself up onto both feet but immediately fell down on her backside; the numbness affected her legs as well. Her vision was blurred, she couldn't see much, even though the blue fog was almost gone. Where was Drakken?

"Yo! Drakken! Where are you, ya blue doofus?" She called out into the mist. Her throat was so sore.

At the sound his name being called, the blue doctor was snapped out of his stupor. He felt a great pain in his chest. It was as if some great weight was pushing down on him, perhaps Shego was still out cold on top of him. He made an attempt to swat at the air above him to wake his sidekick, but nothing was there. Crawling to his knees he gazed around the area. Where was Shego?

"Shego? Are you there? If you ran off and GJ captures me… I'm not sharing any Coco-moo with you. And you won't be invited to this Fridays Kareoke night!" His voice squeaked. Why does my voice sound so funny? He asked himself.

Shego had finally regained the strength in her legs and stood on both feet. She had heard what seemed to have been Drakken call out to her. She made her way towards the voice. Her movements seemed awkward, as if something was interfering with her steps. She stumbled a few times.

The so-called evil genius began crawling around on all four, still not having full use of his legs. He heard footsteps approaching him. It must be Shego. A blurry figure was slowly making its way in his direction, it had a male-like physique; strong upper body, a narrow waist and broad shoulders. It wasn't Shego!

"GJ is already here!" Drakken gasped. "You won't take the great Doctor Drakken so easily!"

With a quick burst of strength the mad doctor launched himself at his newly discovered opponent. His arms flung past his head, preparing to grab the GJ agent's legs in a tackle attempt. The agent didn't suspect the attack and was taken down with ease. He released a loud groan as Drakken lay on top of him. Drakken was quick to pin down both of his assailant's arms and he shouted out into the air.

"Shego come quick! GJ is here! I managed to subdue one of them… but I need your help to finish him off. Pffft!" The doctor began to spit. "His hair is getting in my face… blech! And here I thought my cousin Ed was the only man stupid enough to have hair this long."

Shego's ears were in serious pain. That damned doctor could be so loud sometimes. Her eye twitched as she looked at blue body lying on top of her.

"You idiot! That's me you took out." She yelled at the doctor. "And would you please stop munching on my ha..." She finally caught a good glimpse of the body that was holding her down.

It wasn't the Doctor Drakken she knew that was lying on top of her. Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates as she stared at the blue person that was on her chest. It was a woman. She had shoulder length black hair and onyx eyes. A giant black, single eyebrow lay above both her eyes. Drakken's trademark blue lab coat was covering her body. Looking at her face it was almost scary at the almost identical resemblance to her own face, minus the green skin and freakish eyebrow. Her hands, within Drakken's black gloves, were holding tightly onto Shego's muscular arms. Wait, she thought. My arms were never that…

"Oh my god!"

Drakken looked at the face of his assistant. Or what used to be his assistant. A green man was in her place. His looks gave Drakken the horrible thought of what his and Shego's love child could have been. He had a strong jaw and looks that would make any teenage girl faint in place. Shego's flowing black hair was evident on the man, going past his shoulders and down to his waist. His emerald eyes were wide with shock, and he was muttering several inaudible profanities. Drakken's hands were wrapped around the mans muscular arms and the doctors gaze made it's way to his sidekicks chest. Extremely toned abdominal muscles could clearly be seen, with the help of Shego's skintight cat suit. Something was definitely wrong-sick here.

"Sh… Shego?" A feminine voice managed to squeak out of the scientist's throat.

Drakken gasped and reached his hands to his throat. No Adam's apple. His hands fell from his throat down to his chest. A red streak crossed his face as his hand discovered the two large mounds now occupying his chest area. He jumped off of Shego and back several feet with an ear-piercing shriek.

((Sneaks in Just so ya won't be confused… Drakken will be referred to as "she" and Shego will be "he"… cause ya know…))

"I'm a woman!" She screamed.

"I'm a man!" Shego yelled at the top of his lungs.

Shego stood up on his feet and began pacing aback and forth. Drakken, meanwhile, was curled up in the fetal position sucking on her thumb muttering "This isn't happening" over and over again. The newly-turned-male Shego pulled at his hair and went over the events that occurred before their change.

"… fought with Kimmie. You shot up your rocket full of your nano whatevers, then Kim tossed me into you." He slammed his hand into his open palm.

With a menacing glare he slowly stalked towards Drakken. "It must have been your damned machine that did this to us!" His hands ignited with green plasma. The blue woman heard the all too familiar sound of Shego's powers being activated and glanced up to look him in the face. The irate Shego balled his hands into fists and prepared to let loose a flurry of plasma based attacks on his soon to be ex employer. But, somehow, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Drakken seemed to be giving what seemed to look like a variation of Kim Possible's puppy dog pout, though it had a lot more tears.

Shego slumped his head down with a sigh and the flames of plasma engulfing his fists slowly dispersed. He took in a deep breath and looked at Drakken, a smirk creeping across his face. "Don't worry Doc… I would never hurt a poor defenseless women like yourself."

Drakken made a quick 'Thank You' to any gods that had been listening and wiped the tears from her eyes. Dusting herself off she stood up and breathed a heavy sigh. "Oh thank you so much for not making it 'Drakken goes ouch' time…wait! Stop joking around here Shego! This is a serious problem!" Her scream echoed throughout the entire lair.

Shego could only laugh, as his boss' face became red with anger. He waved her off and folded his arms across his chest. "Take it easy Dr D… just trying to lighten the situation. We need to be nice and calm if we're… no, you're… gonna figure out how to reverse this."

"Well… We know that it was most likely my Nanobots that put us in this… predicament. But they were only programmed to make breeding impossible… how could they have done this? Drakken rubbed her chin while pondering the details.

Shego's eyes narrowed. "Wasn't Stoppable fiddling around with your machine while you were tied up?"

((The following conversation has been dumbed down because even the author could not understand what exactly happened… And was distracted by shiny things while Drakken first explained))

"So the buffoon must have been able to reprogram the GRS. Originally they would target male and female DNA and modify them so the production of their… bodily fluids… would be impossible. But now, they must have targeted our own chromosomes, your 'X' and my 'Y'… switching them for their own opposite. Thus changing our current gender." Drakken announced.

"Um… one problem Doc. See women… we don't have any 'Y' chromo-whatzits to be switched with." Shego pointed out.

Puzzled, Drakken paced in place for a few moments before coming to another solution. "We were touching when we were exposed to the modified GRS… the nanobots must have taken my own 'Y' chromosome and replaced it with one of your 'X's. That also explains why we now share some physical similarities. This is astounding! That buffoon must have a knack for nanotronics."

((Dumbing down over… Have a nice day))

"That loser can't even tie his shoes without little Kimmie's help" Shego growled. "He probably did what he usually does… press any shiny and bright colored button he can find till something happens."

Drakken's mouth fell open. "But… but. In order to figure out how to reverse this… I'll need to know the exact sequence the buffoon inputted… otherwise who knows what the nanobots could do to us if they were programmed improperly."

"YOU MEAN WE'RE STUCK LIKE THIS!" Both of Shego's arms became completely enveloped in green flames. To hell with Drakken being a woman… it was Drakken goes ouch time!

Letting out a high pitched squeal, Drakken's arms raised up to defend her face. Shego advanced closer and closer while the doctor reversed in unison with Shego's steps. They both stepped over a layer of broken glass from Kim and Shego's brawl. Drakken finally backed into the wall. Cornered like a mouse, the blue woman could only whimper as she prepared to receive a multitude of plasma burns. Shego raised both arms and prepared for the first strike when he noticed a tear from Drakken's left eye… or what was near it. He lost his concentrating and his rage seemed to fade.

He pointed one had at the doctor's face, just below her left eye. "Hey. Your scar… it's gone."

Drakken's hand went straight up to her face, feeling just below her left eye. The coarse bumps that were once her scar were now gone. Completely ignoring Shego, she reached down behind her sidekick and grabbed a large shard of glass. She gazed at the barely visible reflection and it was confirmed that her scar, which had been one of her main evil villain traits, was missing from her face.

"Aw… I looked really bad ass with that scar." Drakken complained as she rubbed and tugged at the skin below her left eye. "I'll have to draw a new one on with magic markers…"

Shego slapped the shard of glass out of the doctor's hands and folded his arms. "How is it gone anyway?"

Drakken rubbed at the area that used to contain her scar. Shego could only imagine what was going through her mind. Would she explain it all in an exceedingly boring fashion? Or would she go over every small detail and try to explain with the biggest words in her, somewhat, genius vocabulary? Shego could feel a headache coming on.

"No idea." Drakken said as she shrugged her shoulders. Shego almost fell to the floor. As her shoulders relaxed, she noticed an odd feeling on her chest. She could see Shego looking away from her with a hint of red on his cheeks. She tilted her head in confusion.

After he was sure what he saw was over, Shego looked back to the blue woman. The quick movements from Drakken's shrug seemed have caused some slight… jiggling of the doctor's breasts. The scary part was, Shego had found it somewhat arousing. He shook his head.

"Ok Dr D… we need to get you a bra. Before these male hormones of mine make me do something I regret."

Drakken was even more confused now. "Do something you regret? Like what?"

Shego rolled his eyes. Drakken had to be the most oblivious person on the planet. "Never mind you blue idiot… just follow me."

Drakken stood in place for a moment, wondering what in the world was happening. "Male hormones? Regret? Bra!? I'm a little lost Shego."

Shego let out a fear-inspiring growl, which quickly shut her up. Like an obedient dog, Drakken followed Shego out of the lab. They made their way down one of the main corridors that lead to Shego's quarters. Along the way, they had passed the Henchman's mess hall. Drakken made a mental note of the disappearance of most of the appliances, including her collection of Snowman Hank memorabilia. After Drakken was given a moment to grieve, they finally came to Shego's room.

This was only the second time Drakken had ever entered Shego's room. The first had her ending up with a black eye and several burnt hairs. She stood by the door, not wanting to risk another beating, but Shego waved her in. Drakken was surprised at what was inside.

Shego's room was nothing like Drakken had ever thought. Instead of being the ravaged mess of a room she had imagined; it was just a normal room. The room contained a dresser, desk and computer, a lounge chair with matching tanning light, and her bed. The bed was covered in a green and black blanket that matched the design of Shego's cat suit. There was a strange lump underneath the blanket, just near the top of the bed. The foot of what seemed to be a black stuffed animal poked out from the covers. It looked like a kangaroo foot.

Drakken inched her way to the bed to investigate, while Shego's back was turned. She reached down to the foot. Her fingers brushed against the soft felt of the animal, but that was all she could touch before…

"No. Touchy. Anything!"

A bolt of plasma whizzed past her hair. She jumped away from the bed and in the blink of an eye, was back at Shego's side. She put her hands into her coat pockets and sulked as Shego lead her to the dresser. Shego opened the top drawer and began flicking a variety of bras over his shoulder.

"Nope."

A plain looking, gray sports bra smacked Drakken in the face.

"To flashy."

Drakken had removed the first bra from her face when a pink lacy bra became snagged in her hair.

Shego coughed. "How did that get in there?"

A black leather bra fell into the doctor's hands. She tossed it away as if it were on fire. She lowered her head as a faint blush crept across her face.

"Perfect!"

Drakken cringed as the final bra landed on her shoulder. What would Shego be forcing her to wear? With one eye she peaked at the bra; it was a blue cloth bra, nothing exceptionally special.

"Well it is your color isn't it?" Shego said over his shoulder as her rummaged through another drawer. "And put these on too."

A pair of matching blue underwear made Drakken hair its new resting-place.

"But I thought I only needed a…" Drakken began.

"I'm stuck as a guy because of you… and I am going to make you squirm as much as possible until you find a way to reverse this."

Drakken made her way to Shego's bathroom to change, with no objections. The bathroom was almost as bland as Shego's bedroom. Green and black paint job on the walls and cabinets. An onyx colored sink and a silver faucet were the only real extravagant items in the room.

In her time: Drakken had managed to build doomsday machines, killer robots, flying cars, death rays and mind swap machines. But this object was beyond even her genius.

"Shego!" She called from the bathroom. "How do you put this infernal thing on? Do you put it on one leg at a time? Or do you slip it on over your head?"

Shego slapped his forehead. "There are latches on the back you idiot!"

Five minutes passed.

Shego tapped his foot impatiently.

Another five minutes passed.

Shego growled. "You better not be in there staring at yourself in the mirror!"

Within seconds Drakken exited the bathroom. She held onto one arm and avoided eye contact with Shego. Her face was red.

"N-no… what makes you think that." She answered.

Shego rolled his eyes. He made his way out of the room and back into the hall; Drakken followed like a lost puppy. They went through several more hallways and came to a flight of stairs. The two villains ended up in front of a large, sliding door. The door was clearly labeled with a "Do Not Enter" sign.

"Shego why are we at my room?" Drakken asked from behind Shego.

"Because I need some clothes too." Shego groaned as he tugged at his suit. "This thing is riding up in places I didn't even know I had."

With a swift movement of his arm, Shego motioned towards the keypad located on the left side of the door. With a sigh, Dr Drakken entered her password and allowed Shego to enter. And only Shego. Before she could take a step into the room she was confronted by Shego's hand.

"You can wait out here."

Drakken paced outside of her room for almost half an hour. She could hear Shego inside, mocking all of her clothing styles. The sound of his plasma caught her ear several times, along with the smell of smoldering cotton. The former male megalomaniac slumped against the wall close to the door and made herself comfortable. She started falling asleep as Shego finally exited the room.

"After all this is over Drakken… I'm taking you clothes shopping. Did your mother pick out all of your outfits?" Shego said as he tugged at his new set of clothing.

Drakken ignored his insult and looked up to check out his selection of clothing. He wore a green long sleeved shirt with all the buttons undone. Drakken's old black dress pants were Shego's choice for bottoms. A pair of black sandals covered his feet. Drakken's gaze made its way to Shego's hair… it was short.

Shego flared his plasma. "Way easier than using scissors… want a trim doc?" He chuckled. Drakken waved her arms in an emphatic no.

"Ok… now that we're all dressed up, get to scheming Dr D."

"To the planning room!" Drakken exclaimed as she raised her hand to the sky. She marched up the stairs and around a corner.

Shego let out a yawn and followed momentarily. "Yes… to the living room…"

Inside of Drakken's living room, or planning area as she put it, the two partners in crime sat in silence. Shego sat back in his seat with the latest issue of "Villains". Drakken was hunched over the small table positioned between the two. She scribbled furiously on a stack of paper, occasionally tossing one aside after crumpling it up in anger.

"No… that's to complicated."

"I don't have a death ray big enough to pull that off…"

"So we need milk, eggs and butter… wait… what was I doing again? Ah yes!"

Shego had just finished his magazine as the doctor jumped from her seat and laughed into the air. He crossed his arms and awaited her plan.

"I've got it!" Drakken laughed. "And it's foolproof. We're going to trick Possible and her buffoon in to telling us."

Shego sighed. "And how exactly are we going to do that?"

The blue woman pulled a piece of paper out from behind her back. It was covered in crude drawings. A stick figure with red hair was standing beside another with black hair. There was a disfigured heart shape above their heads.

"Operation: Feigned Trust!" Drakken read aloud. "You will go undercover as a high school student and earn Miss Possible's trust. She being a typical female teenager will be unable to resist your dashing good looks. And when you've earned her trust… you will question her and Stoppable about their interference last night."

"Why do I have to do it? Why not you?"

Drakken turned away from Shego, folding her arms across her chest and pouting slightly, "I don't think I can pull of the teenager look her Shego. And besides… according to you I'm not hip enough…"

"Fine… fine…" Shego rubbed his forehead. "And how exactly am I supposed to go undercover? Won't she notice that I have the same hair and skin color as her arch foe?"

"I thought I was her arch foe? … Anyway… That's where my technical genius comes in. A simple holographic imager that can hide the color of you skin, making you appear normal. I could whip it up in no time flat."

Drakken wandered off into her lab. She sat down at her workbench and began to construct the Holographic Imager, which would be in watch form.

"After I'm finished this I will rent us a home in the Middleton area. We need to seem like a normal family if we want to pull this off. I'll also have to enroll you in the school as well… should be easy enough." Drakken called out to Shego. She slid her wheeled stool over to her main computer. "This will take some time… why don't you get some sleep? We will start Operation: Feigned Trust in the morning."

Shego headed for bed. Tomorrow was going to be one hell of day.


	3. Chapter 3

Blame the Buffoon

The night had been rough for both Shego and Drakken. After only an hour of sleep, Shego had been rudely awakened by his blue boss. Somehow, in the hour Shego had been asleep, Drakken had managed to purchase them a home in Middleton. The previous family had moved out just a few days earlier and had left most of their furniture in the house, they had won the lottery apparently and had no need for any of it. In her eagerness to see the home and its surroundings, Drakken dragged the half-asleep Shego into her hovercraft and flew off to Middleton. As soon as they arrived Drakken was off and poking around the home. She had noticed a back yard garage that was of almost equal size the house itself: a perfect "temporary lair". Drakken hadn't even noticed that Shego had walked into the house, found a room, and fallen asleep once again. Shego tossed and turned during the night.

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Shego found himself out in front of Kim Possible's house with a bouquet of red roses in hand. His body moved on its own and walked up the granite pathway and up to the door. His free hand rung the door bell and he tapped his foot against the ground as he waited for someone to answer. He exhaled a puff of air against his hand and sniffed the air, checking if his breath wasn't nasty. The locks on the door were undone and it swung open to reveal Kim Possible. Shego's mouth dropped as he saw what she was wearing a little black dress and two hoops on each wrist. Kim gave herself a once over when she noticed Shego was staring.

She looked up at Shego with a sad look on her face. "You don't like it?"

Shego shook his head as he regained function of his brain. "N-no. I LIKE it a lot."

"Good." Kim laughed as she wrapped her arm around Shego's.

Shego handed Kim the dozen roses he had brought for her and led her out to his car. They drove off with Kim's father standing in the doorway. He grumbled something about Kim dating and walked back into the house.

The two stopped at the new restaurant in town, Chez Fromage. They enjoyed a bountiful feast of overpriced steak, salad and sparkling tap water. After their dinner Kim noticed that there was a ballroom on the second floor of the restaurant. One puppy dog pout later and they were upstairs and on the dance floor, sharing what seemed to be the longest slow dance of all time. Not that either of them was complaining. Hours passed as if they were only a mere moment, the restaurant closed and the couple was sent out and off to their next stop.

Shego's car was perched atop Middleton Peak. The lights from the city below glistened like the stars of the night's sky. But the passengers of the car were not there for the scenery. They had other motives. Inside the car Kim was laying on Shego, her hair was a mess and her shirt was no more. She looked Shego in the eyes and mouthed the words, "I love you", and she then began to lower herself closer and closer towards his…

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"Holy Shit!"

Shego woke up in a sweat and his breath was shallow. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at his surroundings. The same room he fell asleep in the other night, and not his car. Thank god, it was just a dream. The green man sat up, or as best he could, something was hindering his movement under the blanket. He scanned his bed to find what was the problem, as he located it his eye began to twitch.

"Oh goody. First I have my first male sex dream about Kimmie… and now I'm the proud owner of my first self made tent." He clenched his fist and it erupted in a green flame. "The buffoon is going to fry for this."

Without thinking Shego swung his hand, which was not covered in plasma, smacking the nuisance that Ron had accidentally bestowed upon him. His eyes watered and he clenched his teeth. He curled into the fetal position and muttered any profanities that he could muster.

"Ow ow ow! When I get back to my body… I'm not kicking another guy down there…" He paused. "Unless they really deserve it."

After the pain in his lower extremities subsided, Shego decided to get dressed. He was going to have to go to school today. He put on the exact same outfit he had worn the previous day, only with his shirt buttoned up. With a loud groan he made his way down stairs and headed for the door, but was stopped dead in his tracks by the most enticing aroma. The smell of bacon, eggs, pancakes and hash browns flowed from the kitchen and into his nose. The hungry man followed his gut to the kitchen. His jaw dropped as he entered the room.

"What… the hell are you doing?" He was barely able to say.

Standing in the kitchen, and flipping a stack of pancakes onto a plate, stood Drakken in her lab coat with a pink apron. She looked at Shego for a moment then gave him a wicked smile.

"A growing boy needs a big breakfast." She said as she placed the plate of pancakes on a nearby table. "And I want my little boy to be big and strong."

Shego nearly fainted as the words left Drakken's mouth. His knees were about to give way as Drakken began to laugh hysterically. The blue doctor rested her weight against a chair as she laughed, tears falling from her eyes. Shego was not amused. His body was now fueled by anger and his knees regained their strength.

Drakken backed away from Shego as soon as she noticed the look on his face. "I-it was just a joke Shego. Trying to lighten the mood a little… Please don't burn me…" She tugged at her apron, "I really like this apron."

Shego exhaled and sat down into a chair at the table and began to eat. "You're lucky I'm more hungry than angry." He said between chews.

The "mother" of the household took a seat across from her "son" and reached for some breakfast of her own, but was unsuccessful. Her mouth gaped open as she witnessed the carnage Shego had brought to the table. Pancakes were nothing but crumbs, all that remained of the eggs were small splotches of yolk on his plate, the bacon was non existent and the hash browns she had slaved over were crushed at the side the plate. Drakken sulked in her chair, she hated hash browns. Shego, after a heavily male-like belch, sat up and raided the nearby fridge for anything he could take for a lunch. He laughed as he slammed the door only to reveal a single apple in his hand.

"Looks like your big boy breakfast cleared out all that was left in there." He flipped the apple into the air. "And since I have the pleasure of going to school for this Operation. Guess who has to go get some groceries?"

"Oh…snap." Drakken muttered.

She had to go grocery shopping? The world seemed to collapse around the mad scientist. She remembered what went on in grocery stores. When she was still hanging around with James Possible, when she used to be male, Ramesh would drag the foursome to the local Smarty Mart to try and "score some hot older ladies" as he put it. She didn't want to brag, or admit to Shego, but after a good ten minute look in the mirror Drakken had come to the conclusion that she was one fine looking specimen. Drakken clasped her hands to her mouth as she added everything up… that meant guys would try and hit on her if she went shopping. She closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth.

"I won't do it!" She yelled out. "You can't make…"

She had opened her eyes only to see that Shego had already left, most likely when Drakken had started talking. The doctor whimpered to herself and slowly made her way to the make shift lab she had set up in the garage. She was going to have to make another Holographic Imager for herself, she doubted that her blue skin would help her blend in. After a quick thought, she also planned to make a miniature stun gun… just in case.

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At Middleton High School, Bonnie Rockwaller stood by her locker, obviously bored. She had accidentally slept in and had the misfortune to be given a ride to school by her mother, who took every chance she could to embarrass her. The brunette needed something to cheer her up; she needed Kim or her loser friend to insult. Sadly Kim was also late, off saving some city from a volcano or something, and Stoppable was nowhere to be seen. She decided that today was just going to have to be horrible and headed for her first class of the day. Bonnie passed the main office and with a quick glance she instantly perked up.

"Here is your class schedule for the day Shawn. I hope you enjoy your studies here at Middleton High." The school's secretary said as she handed some forms to a raven-haired man.

Shawn made no eye contact as he grabbed the papers and walked off. "Thanks…"

Yowza, Bonnie thought. Hot new guy and Possible was nowhere to be found, time for Bonnie to make a move. With her ballet and cheerleading skills she glided up to the new student and "accidentally" bumped into him. His papers were knocked from his hand and Shawn was forced to pick them up, Bonnie took this opportunity to fix her hair. Shawn stood up and was face to face with Bonnie.

"Hey there." Bonnie said in an almost sultry voice, "I'm Bonnie, Bonnie Rockwaller. I overheard that you're new here, want me to give you a tour of the school? Or something else?" She said, as she looked the boy up and down.

This girl's pretty straight forward, Shawn thought. "A tour sounds fine."

Shawn G. Ottoman followed Bonnie around the school. They stopped by each of his classes that were on his schedule and Bonnie made sure to point out which people in each class he should keep away from. The names Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable came up a lot. So even non-super villains hated Possible? Shawn laughed to himself. Bonnie continued her tour until they ended up near the gym, and near Kim's locker.

Bonnie growled as she spotted her rival. "Oh god no…" she mumbled to herself.

Shawn glanced in the direction Bonnie was staring and spotted her. In full mission gear, Kim Possible stood at her locker putting away her books. Shawn adjusted the watch on his wrist and cracked his knuckles. Time for Operation: Feigned Trust to begin, he thought. He instantly ignored Bonnie and headed towards Kim.

"Stupid red headed tramp… what do guys see in her any ways?" Bonnie fumed as she stomped off to her class. Possible was going to pay.

Shawn, or Shego as he was know by his blue boss, decided to use the same technique that Bonnie girl had used to meet up with him, he walked up to Kim and "accidentally" bumped into her. He began putting on the nice guy façade and bent down to help Kim pick up the books she had dropped. Kim frantically tried to pick up her text books to avoid certain embarrassment and as she reached for her final book her hand landed on top of Shego's.

She raised her head and looked him right in the face. Her face went into a shade of red brighter than her hair.

"Sorry about that, guess I wasn't watching where I was going." Shego said as he handed her a book.

Kim turned away from him to hide her blush, "I-It's ok." She stuttered.

She stood up and put some of her books back into her locker, and made sure not to be facing the boy who had bumped into her. She took a deep breath and spun on her heel, her blush was gone and she bore a smile on her face.

Be calm Possible, she told herself. "I, um, haven't seen you around here. Are you?"

Shego finished her sentence, "New? Yeah, name's Shawn. Just moved into town with my… mom." He found it easier to say it that time.

"Oh? What does your mom do for a living?" Kim said, forgetting about her anxiousness.

"She's a Rocket scientist."

"My Dad's a Rocket scientist too! What does your mother specialize in?"

Crap, Shego thought. He forgot what Drakken had told him the other night. She was supposed to be specializing in Flight Systems and Autopilot AI, but how could she expect Shego to remember that? It was late and all he wanted to do was sleep, and of course it was Drakken after all… he never really listened anyway.

"Who knows." He said as he rubbed the back of his neck, "She never really talks about work… top secret stuff I think." Nice save! He mentally patted himself on the back.

"Oh"

The two stood in complete silence for what seemed like hours. Kim stood arms behind her back, tracing a circle on the floor with one foot. He must be getting bored, she thought, change the subject. She scanned the area looking for anything to talk about; she spotted the sheet in Shawn's hand.

"Do you need any help finding your first class?"

"Sure. I got English with a Mr. Barkin."

"Me too, it's just down the hall."

Kim led Shego towards what would be his least favorite class. As he followed his arch foe he caught himself slowly shifting his gaze lower, staring at Kim's backside as she walked.

"Stupid boy parts…" he grumbled.

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"You can do this Drew… You've built doomsday machines, successfully outran Global Justice agents, battled with Kim Possible, and even given Commodore Puddles a flea bath." Drakken told herself as she stood outside of Smarty Mart. "It's just a store, all you have to do is grab what you need and get out."

She took in a deep breath and prepared to enter, but her legs still refusing to move. A long of line of customers waited patiently behind her, it had seemed that she was blocking the only working door. An exceedingly large woman stared at her watch as she tapped her foot, that scrawny girl had to move, she needed to get in before her collection of coupons expired. She couldn't wait anymore; she started to steam-roll her way to the front of the line, taking out anyone in her path.

"Out of the way!" She screamed. Her rampage decimated all in the line, no one was spared. Children were separated from their parents and one man was saved in the nick of time by three men wearing oddly similar clothing.

A large rumble was all Drakken heard before she was launched headfirst into the store, she knocked down one of the Smarty Mart mascots. She rubbed her head while sitting up noting that she had no serious injuries… the brain, and not hers mind you, took most of the damage. A trail of drool leaked from the mouth of the foam costume. The poor man inside the costume had taken the full impact from her fall, and the last thing he saw was Drakken's chest. For being unconscious, he had a broad smile on his face.

With a mini barrage of light slaps to the side of the man's suit Drakken determined he was out of it. She stood up and slipped away into the frozen food aisle. She was certain he would be okay.

Drakken pulled out a list from her lab coat and walked down the aisle. "Well… I made it inside. Time to get what we need." She grabbed a box of Pop-Pop Porters Mini Corn dogs. "I hope Shego's day is going a lot smoother than mine…"

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Kim and Shego walked out of their second class, both laughing hysterically. Barkin's class went by like a flash. They had talked the entire time, exchanging personal stories. Shego had managed to tell Kim all of the back-story Drakken had made up for them, with some of his own minor tweaks. He lived with his mother as his parents were divorced and that his four sisters lived back in Go City with his father. He had two older sisters and two younger twins.

"And so my older sister gets back from school only to find that the two youngest had put her doll collection into the microwave. She didn't leave her room for a week!" He finished one of his modified stories. It was sad that he only had to change brother to sister… Hego still hadn't forgiven the Wego's.

Kim wiped a tear from her eye. "That's nothing. The Tweebs sent one of my Carrie dolls into orbit. Last I heard she was over China."

They both followed the large crowd of teens marching down the hall and into the cafeteria. Shego's stomach turned as the mystery meat's smell entered his nose. Kim informed him that a salad was his best bet, as any meat product was hazardous to their health. She handed him a bowl and they sat down. They ate in silence. Shego occasionally looked around the room, obviously waiting for someone.

He swallowed the last bite of his salad, "Where's your friend Ron? Doesn't he go here too?" He glanced around once more.

Kim patted her mouth with a napkin and shrugged her shoulders, "I don't really know. He's off in Japan on another Student exchange program…" She tapped her chin. "Though I haven't even seen the student they sent over here, no one has."

"What?" Shego managed to say, his eyes were almost as big as dinner plates. He coughed into his hand. "H-has he told you why they haven't sent anyone here? You must still talk to him on the phone right?"

Her red hair swayed back and forth as Kim shook her head, "Nope. Haven't talked to him since he left. I can't seem to contact him, just like the last time he was there. Even Wade can't get in touch with him…"

Stoppable's not even here! Shego slammed his fist onto the table and caused Kim to jump in her seat. She let out a high pitched squeak, and the whole cafeteria was now looking in their direction. A hint of red was on Shego's face as he looked at the bottom of his fist; a faint green glow vanished in a flash.

"Uh… Thought I saw a bug… Sorry." He apologized and the teens returned to their meals.

He pushed away from the table and hurried for the nearest exit. Kim tried to stand to stop him but he was gone. She sat down and stared at the table. He must want to be alone, she thought.

"The whole room just staring at him… must have been so embarrassing. I don't blame him."

Outside of the school Shego stood by a tree. He glanced around to make sure no one was around to see him. With a growl he ignited his powers and slashed the tree, leaving a glowing gash in its bark. He closed his eyes, deactivated his Go Team glow, and took in a lung full of air.

"So Stoppable is MIA? Better call Dr. D…"

He pulled out a cell phone from his pocket and hit a number on speed dial. The phone rang for two minutes before Drakken's usual voice mail replied.

"I'm not at the phone right now, world domination plans keeping me busy… Or if this is Friday, then I'm at the Kareoke club. The number for it is…" Shego slammed his phone shut.

"Dammed Drakken…" Shego yelled at the phone. "I buy her that cell phone so I know where she is… and she leaves it at home. I'm strapping that damn thing to her wrist when I find her."

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Deep within the confines of aisle seven, Doctor Drakken stood scratching her chin. She studied her choices before; it was her greatest challenge that day. She hesitated as she placed a single box into her shopping cart.

"Shego liked Marshmallow Ricey Krisps right?" She asked herself. She shrugged as she began to push her cart.

Her cart moved little more than two inches before she stopped. She swung her arm around and grabbed her second choice.

"Coco Moo-Moo cereal. Judging by the way Shego ate this morning… it wouldn't hurt to have more." She scanned the box before placing it down. "Oooooh! This one has a decoder ring inside!"

Drakken pulled out her list and scratched another item from her list. She had everything she needed, except for one minor product. It was essential to her mad scientist schemes: Chocolate Syrup for her Coco Moo. She had scoured almost the entire building to find what she desired. There was only one last spot to check, and there was an incredibly small chance that it would be there. If someone had been playing a joke on the customers of the store, it could only be in the pet section of the store.

She pushed her cart to the front of the store and prepared to take a turn to the pet aisle when she spotted a pair of paramedics. They were both hovering over the man in the brain costume she had knocked out earlier. One of the paramedics wafted a vial of smelling salts below the man's nose, after they had removed him with a pair of large shears from the gardening aisle. As the man began to regain consciousness he glanced in the doctors direction, his first real sight being her chest.

"It was… those…" He mumbled as he proceeded to pass out once again. His arm had almost had the strength to point in her direction, but fell limp as he fainted.

Drakken whistled a little tune as she fled from the scene and entered the pet aisle. She rocketed down the aisle and kept her sight behind here, just incase they had noticed. The three men in matching clothes were in the aisle with the man they had saved from the irate woman. As Drakken's cart closed in on them, they formed a wall between themselves and their rescued friend. Her cart came to a screeching halt as all three men slammed their burly arms onto its front. Drakken's momentum kept her moving and she winded herself on the handlebars. She caught her breath and looked forward to see what stopped her.

"S-sorry about that." She apologized, pulling her cart from the men and quickly maneuvering past them.

The three large men dusted their arms off and went to check on the fourth. He stood scratching his goatee cradled a small furry animal in his free arm. His hand clicked as he stroked the animal, it let out a series of high-pitched squeaks as it calmed itself down. The man's single eye followed Drakken as she searched her end of the aisle.

He lifted his pet and pointed it in the direction of the doctor. "Do you see her my Pepe?" He turned the Chihuahua back towards himself "She's… stunning. Something about her is just so… intriguing."

Sheldon Director, or Gemini as he was known by all, handed his tiny pet to the man closest to him. "Agent Omega. Hold Pepe while your leader talks with this beautiful woman."

Pepe latched onto Agent Omega's wrist as soon as he was touched. The WWEE agent bit his lip and tried his hardest not to scream in pain. His two comrades, Agents Delta and Gamma, snickered quietly to themselves. They managed to calm themselves as they watched their boss close in on his target.

Gemini flicked his robotic hand and the teeth of a comb sprung out from the bottom of his index finger. He tidied up his hand and exhaled into the palm of his organic hand, checking his breath. With another quick motion of his hand the comb teeth retracted, he slipped a leather glove from his pants pocket over the hand. He reached out and tapped Drakken on the shoulder.

"Excuse me Miss?"

Drakken turned around with her single eyebrow raised, a bottle of chocolate syrup in hand. "Eh?"

Gemini looked her up and down, "Might I ask if those are astronaut pants?"

"Wha.." Gemini cut her off.

"Because it would seem that your butt is out of this world."

"Thank… you?" Drakken said as she tossed the bottle into her cart. "But these aren't astronaut pants."

"Oh" Gemini coughed. "Then may I ask if it hurt?"

Drakken tilted her head. Did he see me hit the Brain guy too? "D-did what hurt?"

Gemini gave her a quick wink, "When you fell from heaven?"

Drakken shook her head. "I never fell from heaven. Scientifically speaking if there were a heaven, it would be high up in the Earth's atmosphere. If I were to fall from said area I would have died shortly after falling, due to lack of oxygen and severe atmospheric pressures. Now if you'll excuse me I have to be going." She informed him and headed out of the aisle leaving Gemini speechless.

The three agents watched their employer for a moment before engaging in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. Agent Gamma, who had lost with his choice of rock, walked over to Gemini and patted him on the back.

"Looks like she wasn't interested boss. But you know the saying, 'There's more fish in the sea'."

Gemini glared at his henchman and slapped his hand from his shoulder. He turned to the three and clenched his fist. An electrical pulse circulated around it.

"No one says no to Gemini." He shot his fist into a nearby bag of dog food, incinerating it. "You will be mine my beautiful flower…"

He walked up to Agent Omega and retrieved Pepe. "I will be the first to give dear old Mother her first grandchild. Before my little Sister Betty at Global Justice."

Pepe's ears fell behind his head and he unleashed a volley of growls and yips into Gemini's ear. The one eyed man held the dog close to his neck and whispered into its ear.

"Shh Pepe… papa is sorry for saying the GJ word. I'll put a quarter into the jar and even buy you some more doggy treats here."

He turned to his men and pointed his hand to the exit. "Find out who that woman is. Now!"

"Yes sir!" Omega, Gamma and Delta shouted in unison. They sped off to the door.

"Now lets get Pepe some yummy doggy treats." Gemini cooed to his pet.


End file.
